Passing On

At Comfort Keepers, we are often faced with the challenge of working with people who are in the end stages of life. While this can be a rewarding field of work, it can also take an emotional toll on our employees. 


At our offices, this past week has been especially difficult. We have lost 4 clients and have another actively dying. (To put it in perspective, we had previously lost 4 clients in the past four months.) Some of these clients were long-term clients who we have grown to love. In the process of providing care, we also get to know the families and loved ones. We feel the loss acutely.  

If I have said it once, I have said it a hundred times: You will grow close to your clients & their families. They will and do become your friends.When those clients then die, even when it expected, it can be hard to process the emotions. It can be especially tough if a Comfort Keeper is remaining in the home to continue providing service to a surviving spouse. We are the ones who remain when friends and family return to work and their regularly scheduled lives. Often, we are the ones who see the loss the surviving spouse faces in their day-to-day lives. It can force us to look at our own lives and to face our own mortality. 


It is important to note that everyone faces death, and the grief associated with it, differently. One person sobs openly for weeks on end; another bottles their grief at the funeral and puts it away, never to be seen again. It is not our place to judge how one grieves, but rather to show support and respect the wishes of the surviving family.We can recommend counselors or support groups and we can listen. Often, the grieving simply want the ability to remember, out loud, the person they have lost. 


I think the most important thing is to not allow the grief to consume you. Grief is healthy and has a place in our lives. We need to deal with it as we feel is best for our mental well-being, so long as it does not harm our physical well-being. The American Psychological Association has some great tips on dealing with death and dying.

As we say goodbye to those we have cared for, it is important to recall how we enhanced their last days and assisted them in maintaining the highest quality of life possible in their final days.